Monday, September 17, 2012

Family fix Q & A - Missed Questions

Hello everyone! The Family Forum was tremendous and there were many questions that we were not able to get to live on that Sunday.  However, I would like to answer them in this forum.  God bless you!

Questions from Forum via Social Media & Streaming
1.       Kim says: My question is, how can I get my son to get used to coming to church in a positive way. He is 4 years old. I have tried children's church, but he said it's too loud and wanted to go home. He is too loud and won't sit still in regular service. We ended up going to the crying room. I wish I would have started taking him to church as an infant like I wanted to, but my husband thought it would be too much for him and now he's 4 and doesn'tknow how to act in church.
a.       Kim, my answer to you was a little rough on stage. I was not trying to minimize your problem. Your child cannot be expected to know how to “act” in church. You need to start exerting parental control in the cry room if he has trouble in the children’s church he will eventually work through attachment issues. Be patient and consistent and it will come together.
2.       Saved in the Lord and love it. says: My question ,after Divorce even though it was not something that you wanted, how can I get back on track in all areas of my life.
a.       I recommend my teaching from Wednesday night, Sept. 5th. Get up, Get a  Grip touch, Get a grip, Get away, and Get along. You can buy the DVD/CD from the bookstore.
3.       How does a wife address her husband with issues she has without seeming like a nagger or complainer?
a.       Let him see Christ in you.  Address him the way you want to be addressed. I also recommend you read the book What Love & Respect.
4.       Single parent family question: what is your spiritual guidance on single parents & introduction of suitors to children?
a.       Wait until the suitor is the one you plan to marry. That will be a test whether to move forward.
5.       I am a divorcee of  17 years and I do hope to get married again one day and I just want to say as I'm watching Bishop and first Lady, they are an awesome example-- one of the cutes couples I know -  I'm just sayin
a.       Thanks, we receive your kind words.
6.       My wife and I went through a separation, when we got back together and shared our story, people began to treat her bad and now she doesn't want to attend or church anymore. What should I do?
a.       You should approach the leadership of the church if it’s possible. You should thicken your skin, because people are going to talk and your testimony probably helped far more people than are talking. Get over any embarrassment because God has your heart and people will talk, that’s what they do. And finally, the bible says if anyone offends you go to that person. Leaving the church is not the answer.
7.       How can couples who are polar opposites compromise on issues like affection? Ex. Man isn't affectionate at all, woman is very affectionate.
a.       Read the book 5 Love Languages, it will help to speak the correct languages to each other.
8.       Revised: What advice would you give a person who is letting family stay with them who are not married, and who do not help out around the household. When should you cut someone off? 
a.       You should not permit someone to stay with you who is not married. Cut them off yesterday!
9.       If Adam and Eve had children, and their family were created in generations, how were more families made? How did colored people come to Earth?
a.       Adam was black. We know that by the location of the Garden of Eden. Havilah is mentioned in the scripture. Havilah is in Africa. As for how there are other families—Genesis is not intended to give you a “blow by blow” account of creation. It is intended to give you an overview.
10.   What do you do when your spouse says they want to separate after you have moved from another state and been supportive of all the things they have done and have established themselves and now they don't need you because you are not where they are financially.
a.       Let him/her move out. Ask if they will come for spiritual guidance. Hold on to God, he is your provider.
11.   cosmas says: Abstinence after divorce is very difficult. How is that to be handled?
a.       Overcome by occupying your time by things of God. Feed your spirit man and you will grow stronger to overcome temptation.
12.   For a teen what would u recommend to do with situations were u are pressed in a postion u have to chose between your "popularity" and the right thing. I know doing the right thing is important. But what if it is your so called friends pressuring u to do it?
a.       Geoff says “In this situation you have to make the right thing popular. If they are your real friends they will understand the decision you make even if it goes against what they desire you to do. I know it's not easy to have relationships sometimes, but upon your decision in this situation see how your friends react and move forward the best way you know how based upon their reaction. Follow your heart because ultimately you know what's right.” 
13.   How do you handle having overbearing mother in laws?
a.       Ask our mate to deal with them
14.   Homosexuality is often not talked about in the church, and im not sure if I was born this way or if this was a mission for me to get through WITH God. Ever since I was a child I was always interested in the same sex before I even knew what homosexuality was. I'm a firm believer in God and I consider my relationship with him great. I don't know if this a part of who I am, or if this is something that God wants me to overcome so I can help tell others what God has brought me through. Or is this another blessing of being uniquely differently... Or as other one might call it a curse
a.       Listen to my answer, it’s not a curse! You are fearfully and wonderfully made and also born into sin like all of us. You may feel like you were born gay. That isn’t the issue because we were all born into sin. You can be born again. Your struggle with the sin of homosexuality is no greater or worse than others struggles with other sinful behavior. We only wear our struggles as a badge of honor where we can show others in our weakness God’s grace is sufficient to help us.
15.   What to do if you are in final stages in divorce.  You have tried everything to reconcile.  During this time you meet someone.  You are completly over the person mentaly and emotionaly.  You dont feel like you had to be in a relationship or was looking for one.  The person is a person that has such much in common with me.  And most importantly, has a great relationship with God.  We both know we will be married.  We hope and pray divorce goes through God speed.  I have a good relationship with God now.  But being with person I feel I can be exstrodanary man
a.       You wait until the divorce is final and you are not on the “rebound” before you pursue this or any relationship.
16.   Teen/ young adult question: In the bible Ruth laid at the feet of Boaz & slept. Is it ok to sleep over while courting?
a.       No, Ruth was acting in traditional custom any way during biblical times to show interest. WE cannot say she was engaged in sexual intercourse.
17.   What do u do with a son who think he knows it all? He wants to have a girl friend. My husband and I seem to b aruging over him everyday. This is hard on your marriage.  What do u do when ur spouse what to raise the kids the way he was raised? I want to raise them the way I was. How do u handle this?
a.       That’s enough right there unless she is being grieved by the Holy Spirit and convicted in multiple ways to remain in the marriage. Please read the book of Hosea, pray and see what God speaks into her spirit. (SEE 18A)
18.   When is enough enough? Writing on behalf of a friend who is a believer and has been married to another believer for 8 years. In the beginning years of their marriage, the husband confessed that he cheated during their marriage with multiple women. They decided to separate but reconciled a year later. It's been 5 years, and the husband has made another confession. He has been unfaithful again, but this time, the woman is pregnant. They have two children together. She wants to know if she should try to make this work...
a.       NO ANSWER, THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION MAY BE THE ONE TYPED FOR 17 ABOVE.

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